Tuesday, July 26, 2005
It's so hurtful what others say at the spur of the moment...don't they ever think of what they have said...What have mankind become to...What have humans become to...I rather die than to be called one of "them"...Just reflect that's all I ask...

10:27 PM

Stop! just stop. I can't stand it anymore.
You're driving me insane.PLease...Just stop...Stop questioning..
Go somewhere else to question...Stop complaining...stop complaining about the things that you had in life was nothing...including......I'm speechless...Just stop doing anything...I really wish that I could just go away...Go away from everyone else...They too are driving me nuts...I feel like I am of no use to anyone.Please...just stop...Before I fall into the pool of black.Black...represents...suffering...death...evil..depression...
One again...All I ask is for you to stop...All I ask for is for me to go away somewhere I would be of use to people who needs me...

10:18 PM

Abandoned by...
Battered by words
Crushed I feel
Denial I am
Extinct I'll be
Frustrated I'll always be
Gone forever
Hampered
Iced
Jailed
Killed
Loony
Mad
Noo...
Oppressed
Popping pills
Quizzical
Rejected
Stark
Torment
Unfeeling and unresponsive
Vapid
Waste
eXhausted
Yielding from nothing
Zero

9:50 PM

Monday, July 25, 2005
Hey...The confession part I will do some other day...
But now I just would like to say a few things... Lately I've not been feeling like myself, im not even behaving like my self....You guys just have to bear with me for these period...You just don't know what I'm going through now.Let me be for now.sorry if I have been sarcastic or mean nowadays but it's just temporary.Unless you want be to be a dull person or maybe even better a NERD!!!
I really don't feel like myself so just let me be..please...

6:11 PM

Saturday, July 23, 2005
Surprise!!!!
Friday

went to school as per normal.Supposed to have Racial Harmony Celebration in school.Exciting and all but very tiring. After that I had to go for debate.We were suppose to have time to discuss.I can't believe she staggered us.Never mind.
After school, almost everyone was in class.Playing cards as usual.I really think that our class has got a serious addiction to these cards.Doing magic even gambling.
I wanted to go home.But some people were like totally preventing me from doing so.I was very tired.I was thinking of going home to sleep and rest. But my plans were abandoned. Fiona and Dalilah said that I can't go home because we have to wrap the storybooks for IPW.We went to McDonald's at Ang mo Kio.Ate our lunch. Then we went to popular to buy some stuff.And so we did.Me, Fiona and Dalilah. Then we took the bus back to school.Yippee! I thought maybe I could quickly go home after doing IPW.Unfortunately, some people were planning something.
We wrap and all until 5pm.I kept asking them if I could go home. But nooo....When we sort of finally did, we took the bus again to the MRT.We alighted from the bus and Fiona was really in pain.Her feet.Blisters I think.
I noticed that Dalilah and Li Yi were acting strange because they don't really stay back this late on Friday. I think. They said that we had to wait for zhiling, jiawen and syamira.And so we did.I was becoming more impatient because my father was waiting for me.Oh well...We met the rest and they were going somewhere behind the MRT.I don't know why I even followed them. So we went.Li yi obviously was trying to distract me.Everyone was acting strange too. I felt as if I landed on the wrong planet.haha..
We reached the place.Liyi said she had to ask me something important.And led me away.The rest was up to something.I had this feeling.
Afetr talking to Liyi, we joined the rest BUT, they had something in stored for me.
A SURPRISE PARTY!!!
I really didn't expect it to happen.Truely.Honestly.They sang me a birthday song...so sweet
They bought three round cute cakes.One hello kitty,one bugs bunny and one tweety bird.So cute..
We took pictures and all ,even record my acknowledgements on Zhiling's camera.So everyone ate a piece of cake.really tasty. Then zhiling started to put cream on my face..Ahh!!!!=)Everyone started doing so...Cream all over my face...Took a picture of it too =)Thanks Jiawen for preparing tissues for me.
After all that, the confessions bagan......

stay tune later...continue....

12:38 PM

Friday, July 22, 2005
Thursday

Went to school.People wishing me Happy Birthday to me...
Today is my birthday....21st July.People gave me presents...yay!
Syamira thanks for the precious glass bottle.Very creative of you.
Fiona thanks for the cute baby blue teddy bear.I really like it when you put the cardboard in front of the bear.
Zhiling and Jiawen thanks for your ever original adorable brown teddy.So sweet of you guys.
Everyone else who wished me Happy Birthday today...
(Priya, Jenlee,Dalilah,Liyi,Elia,Ben,Yiteng,Izyan,Hakimah,Sharanya,Sharon,Pavitra,Bavani...etc..Sorry if i didn't mention the rest...)
Went to third language...Dalilah told everyone that today is my birthday...They sang the birthday song in Chinese..so sweet but rather bad singing...=)
went home...Home sweet home...
Surprisingly,my aunt came over and bought me a cake!Durian cake.Nice.Sweet.
Last but not least thank you to my dearest parents for their support all through my life.
Thank you...

12:26 PM

Monday, July 18, 2005
Hoping for good news all week.Just good things to happen.That's all I ask.Please.Please.Please.

7:29 PM

Saturday, July 16, 2005
Spur of the moment thought
Abandoned by self
Blurred by humanity
Confused by reality
Destroyed by words
Engulfed by doom
Flooded by emotions
Guarded by remorse
Hatred behind the love
Immersed in hate
Journey to find
Kinship?
Lies?
Mental instituition?
Nothingness?
Of course not the above
Positively not the above
Quite
Right
Sickened by my
Thoughts
Unrestrained and unpredictable
Violated by me
Worried about myself
X-rayed by I
Yielding fast from everyone
Zany- which is me, myself and I

7:35 PM

How complicated can life be? Nuclear bombs?Natural disasters? Exposed to radiation? Hope something happens..just something.

5:55 PM

Saturday, July 09, 2005
I just realize this.
Friends.
I know some.
Some take advantage of others.
Some gossip.
Some take others for granted.
Some ignore what one has done for the other.
Some are happy-go-lucky.
Some pretend.
Some talk too much.
Some are caring.
Some are quiet.
Some are shy.
Some are like me.


Now I know that words coming from the mouth may not be the truth but most are just lies.Thats what I realize.Why do human beings suck up to other people?Why do they pretend?Why do they say thank you when they truly don't mean it? Why do some pretend to get something from the other?
Why?

12:20 PM